How to mend a broken heart?


It's 10:29 PM.

Kaitlyn went to bed about 40 minutes ago. why, in the middle of summer vacation, would she do that?

Because she is getting up at 3 in the morning to go on a flight to Europe.

I'll be honest, I am estatic for her. I would KILL to go to Europe. She'll be there for 10 days, touring in France and Italy. And I am so happy for her lucky little ass.


...there's a downside....

As my girlfriend, I'm having a hard time telling myself I can't see, text, call, IM or e-mail her for over a week. I'm used to texting her EVERY SINGLE DAY. Talkign over IM EVERY SINGLE DAY. And when I can't my heart hurts so badly I can't stand it. I spent the last half hour or so writing her an e-mail, while crying insesently because I don't knwo what else to do.

...the next 10 days are going to be hell....


Basically, comment saying "The game is afoot", and I will ask you 5 questions at random.  you must them post my questions and your answers in your journal.

Here are the questions(and answers) by [info]nancy_hartigan.

1. If you could choose a universe to live in, what would it be?

-Depends what you mean by UNIVERSE. BD  Book-wise, I'd love to be in the Harry Potter-verse; I'm such I nerd.  TV wise....Kuroshitsuji.  Cause I love victorian clothing and shota. BD

2. What would YOU do for a Klondike bar?

-Depends--is it the last Klondike Bar EVAR?  Cause like...I'm not a huge fan of them.  I prefer anything with mint.

3. What is the wing velocity of a sparrow?

-Enough to get it from point A to point B. BD

4. What American song acts as your theme?

-AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!  Curtosy of Team America.

5. What car would you kill a man to own? (figuratively speak, of course, it's not like I condone murder >.> )

An old muscle car.  Like a Corvette or Mustang.  I LOVE Mustangs.



So. I spent last night at Kaitlyn's house. I'm spending tonight at Amanda's house. And then tomorrow night until further notice I will be at my grandparents house.

Why you ask?

I left my parents. I couldn't deal with thier manipulative bullshit anymore. And to top it all off, I need out of it. I'm temporaroily quitting school and getting a full-time job. because I need a car ana place to live. I don't intend to live with my grandparents forever(I would DIE if I did), and just need to get up on my feet. I'm forcing myself to grow up.

So yeah. My weekend started AMAZINGLY. And you know the worst part? My dad tried to blame me, and guilt me into staying until they leave for Utah(Which is, apparently IN 2 TO 3 WEEKS). He claimed I was ABBANDONING him. Which is utter BULLSHIT.

I'm at the point in my life where I really don't know what to do with my self. I know I need to go to school, and that I need a god education in order to get a decent job--at least in this economy--but I can't rely on my grandparents and parents forever. I'm 20 years old now, and I need to start my own life. I need a car and an apartment. I need to work. and when all of that is straightened out, then I'll worry about school. It's not like my mom--I don't have a small, 3 year old child to worry about taking care of. I'll have the time. Even if it means takg night classes.

I've really matured a lot in recent months. Usually I would just mope and cry and vent, but do nothing. But now, I just have learned to step up and make my own decisions. AND IT'S ABOUT TIME DAMMIT!

So, yeah. any and all supprt y'all can give is much appreciated. It's going to be a hard road ahead.



And then it was over.  *EPIC SAD*

So yeah, memorial weekend was the bomb for me this year.

Thursday: PArents left around 3:30.  Drove to Kaitlyn's house.  Hung out with her and Amanda.

Friday: Went to Amanda's graduation.  Killed feet and back, but super proud.  Found out an ex-friend is engaged(MINDFUCK).  Went to Mels with Amanda, Evan, Brooke, Sara and Kaitlyn for milkshakes and fries.  YUM.  Went to Amanda's and played Ouija Board--creeped the fuck out of Brooke.

Saturday: Went to Amanda's Graduation party.  Had a blasty blast and killed self with giant amount of chinese food.

Sunday: Had seven deadly sins shoot(part 2 of 3); shot for Wrath, Lust, and some Envy.  Went back to Amanda's and had pizza.

Monday: My birthday(20!!!!).  Got $25, 4 pictures and Sims 3:world adventures.  Made a cake with Amanda, Sara and Kaitlyn.  it was a GIANT cupcake with what I call orgasm chocoloate frosting.  saw Robin Hood.  T'was awesomeness.

Tuesday: Slept until 10:30 or so.  went to the mall; bought a jewlry box, 4 pairs of knee highs, and Shin Megami Tensei:Persona for my PSP.  it is a mind fuck. 

And now I'm home.  And I REALLY miss staying with Kaitlyn.  I actually feel ACCEPTED there.  feels more like home.

So, I've gotten into Hetalia, and have decided on 3 faves--Ivan(Russia), Arthur(UK), and Matthew(Canada).  This isn't the particular order either.  I just love these guys.

eyebleach, etchasketch

-insert face palm here-

so, I realized today when I looked in the bathroom mirror, that I look just like Matthew Williams, aka Canada, from Hetalia.

I just need a red hoodie and a fucking Polar Bear plush.  holy crap.

So, this weekend is going to ROCK.  In about 2 hours, I'm going to be staying with my gf for 5 days.  WOOT WOOT!    tomorrow is amanda's graduation, Saturday is her gradutation party, and MONDAY is my 20th Birthday.  WOOT WOOT.

Srs Bsns

So apparently my dad decided to come back from Utah after 2 weeks. Because my Aunt(his sister) is a control freak who nearly kicked him out cause she couldn't control him. -.- My family is made of SUCH winners. Ah well, at least my memorial weekend plans aren't ruined.

So what's going on...Today is my French Final, and then the sememster is over--YAY! :iconrainbowlaplz: its a written test and a Oral presentation...YEAH I'm gonna fail. Next week some time, I'm going to see "Murder in the Knife Room", which Amanda is in. Excited about that. May 28th is Amanda's graduation, the 29th is a party, and the 31st is my 20th birthday~! :iconrainbowlaplz: I'll be spending Memorial weekend at Kaitlyn's house. I'm so excited and happy you don't even know.

My allergies have been kicking my ASS this week. I finally had to resort to getting a Saline solution(after much nagging from Kaitlyn). It's not as bad as I thought, but it doesn't work the wonders that she and Amanda claimed. i can still only half breathe. THEN AGAIN, my sinus' have been clogged for almost a week so...that might be why.

I've been playing Sims 3 religiously. GREAT FUN. Srsly. But now I gotta get my ass back on the workout program(been slacking for 3 weeks) because we just got a Wii fit yesterday. *holy music* I played breifly at Kaitlyn's house and fell in LOVE with it. We played a little last night. X3 Love it.

Sadly not a lot has been going on otherwise. Just trying to make myself feel better, in the meantime. X_X on my way there.
Yay sex, renee

Odd inspiration and Cosplay

So, I stayed home from school today cause I felt sick, and somehow came up with an elaborate story idea while half asleep.  and it actually makes sence.

As any of you may know, a week or so ago my friends and I did a photoshoot.  Under the cut are some of the better ones.

Collapse )

And thats all. Sorry for the major picture spamming. Also, if anyone is interested, my friends Amanda, Sara, Ali, Evan, Brooke, my gf Kaitlyn and I are going to do a photo shoot surrounding the 7 Deadly sins. Amanda will be Gluttony, Sara is Lust, Ali is Sloth, Evan is Envy, Brooke is Wrath, and I'm Pride. Should be fun. I'll be sure to post those as well.

(no subject)

Cross-posted to my da

So. What's been up with me. As if anyone cares.

Finally got the Sims 3 to work on my laptop. so YAY! And I've started my own legacy. Still only in the first generation, but I'm having fun with it.

My dad is FINALLY gone, hallelujah. Granted, I kinda miss him, but I'm kinda like, blah. It's been quiet. but my mom and I have been getting along better too.

Last Friday I went to amanda's house for dinner with kaitlyn and Brooke. We had pasta. And somehow, it turned into a giant closet cosplay extravaganza. I did a Crazy Finny, Kaitlyn was a female Sebastian, Brooke was a more formal Ran mao, and Amanda was the photographer. We actually had a LOT of fun. :heart: Can't wait for the next photoshoot we do.

I plan on posting some of the best pictures here asap
lavaliere, elrics

(no subject)

So, as everyone knows by now, I'm supposed to be moving in a month or so.  My dad is leaving for Utah either Thursday or Friday(He was supposed to leave Tuesday, but a storm came in).

For SOME REASON, he thinks it's just HILARIOUS to tell me I'm being moved out to Utah on May 15th.  Thats before both my best friend's graduation, and my 20th birthday.  That really hurts me.  It's already bad enough that we're going to leave memorial day weekend--which, may I point out, my birthday is ON MEMORIAL DAY this year.  Yeah, this is NOT the best thing for me right now. And yeah, this move is technically for the better because the cost of living isn't an arm and a leg, but god it hurts!

I don't WANT to leave all my friends and family, especially not my gf.  But my only other option is to move in with my grandparents--that's like choosing cake or death.

Pardon me whilst I bawl for a while.